Lost. Not only the meet today against Torrey Pines, but my motivation for the season as well.
I made it my goal back at the end of last season to compete in CIF this year. But as the season continues, my times are no longer dropping, and I recognized tonight that my goal is no longer possible.
One dual meet remains, and then the regular track season of 2013 is officially over. And I'll be a senior. It's disturbing, the idea that I cannot and will not achieve my goal. But it's reality. Week after week of useless long jumps practices, shin splint pain, physical therapy--and suddenly, without even getting anywhere, my season is nearing its finale.
Still, I will do my best in next week's meet; but from then on, I'm not even sure I'll make league prelims. My times, my adrenaline, my hunger to improve as well as my ability to improve, have all flat-lined. The disappointment haunts me everyday, as I cling onto varsity with my fingertips.
One meet left. And then we enter our final season of high school track.
~Dr. Z
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Fear Part III
So I've actually been planning to write this for a while, but since tomorrow is our first "real" meet, I suppose now is a good time to actually post.
Here I am, a junior, who's been on varsity for three years now. And every year, I've been part of some form of the relay. Freshman year, I was the alternate for the 4X100, which meant that I didn't run at all; sophomore year, I ran third leg almost every week. And this year, I run first and second leg. So I've had tons of practice. We practice handoffs at least twice a week, and we run them in a real race twice (most of the time). So I shouldn't be scared of anything about the relay, right?
Wrong. My biggest fear is of the baton: a piece of metal no more than a foot long. A cylinder that sprinters throw to each other as a game. But to me, it's curse. It's the baton that needs to make it around the track in a relay, not the runners. It's the baton that has to be passed on to each leg, not speed or thoughts of encouragement. It's the baton that means anything at all.
The reason that I'm afraid of the baton dates back to freshman year, to my very first relay. Which I suppose makes sense, my first experience being bad sticks with me the longest. So I was put in as anchor leg, because the anchor had pissed our coach off and he was proving that she was making a mistake and that the relay didn't need her. Well, that was wrong. I was beyond nervous, and when I was supposed to put my hand back, I did my right instead of my left. Now, it may not seem that bad, but when the baton was supposed to stay in the middle of the lane, and the girl passing to me had to try and cross it over my body... well bad things happened. We were disqualified. But worse than that, I proved that I wasn't ready to be on a relay. I felt as though I didn't deserve to be on a relay ever again, and still, when I practice or when I'm in a race, that moment when I have to put my hand back, I think of that. I think of the moment when I didn't just ruin my chance of proving that I deserved to be on the relay, I let down the rest of my team who wanted to win. And I'm terrified of doing that again.
-Pippi
Here I am, a junior, who's been on varsity for three years now. And every year, I've been part of some form of the relay. Freshman year, I was the alternate for the 4X100, which meant that I didn't run at all; sophomore year, I ran third leg almost every week. And this year, I run first and second leg. So I've had tons of practice. We practice handoffs at least twice a week, and we run them in a real race twice (most of the time). So I shouldn't be scared of anything about the relay, right?
Wrong. My biggest fear is of the baton: a piece of metal no more than a foot long. A cylinder that sprinters throw to each other as a game. But to me, it's curse. It's the baton that needs to make it around the track in a relay, not the runners. It's the baton that has to be passed on to each leg, not speed or thoughts of encouragement. It's the baton that means anything at all.
The reason that I'm afraid of the baton dates back to freshman year, to my very first relay. Which I suppose makes sense, my first experience being bad sticks with me the longest. So I was put in as anchor leg, because the anchor had pissed our coach off and he was proving that she was making a mistake and that the relay didn't need her. Well, that was wrong. I was beyond nervous, and when I was supposed to put my hand back, I did my right instead of my left. Now, it may not seem that bad, but when the baton was supposed to stay in the middle of the lane, and the girl passing to me had to try and cross it over my body... well bad things happened. We were disqualified. But worse than that, I proved that I wasn't ready to be on a relay. I felt as though I didn't deserve to be on a relay ever again, and still, when I practice or when I'm in a race, that moment when I have to put my hand back, I think of that. I think of the moment when I didn't just ruin my chance of proving that I deserved to be on the relay, I let down the rest of my team who wanted to win. And I'm terrified of doing that again.
-Pippi
Saturday, March 9, 2013
The clock is tick-tocking
On Thursday, we had a "practice" meet--basically just to test the equipment. But I didn't run.
My shin splints continue to keep a grip on my legs. True, they are getting better (slowly), but the healing process can never be fast enough for me. There was also a knot that developed in my right calf, which I went to CJ's to get rubbed out. Certain people *AHEM* think I'm so funny during this process that I should be recorded :) Full speed continually evades me. I am never in shape. I am never able to do the entire workout. I am never completely healthy. Icing, rubbing, stretching, even physical therapy, for goodness sake, and my shins continue to ache. How can I maintain my varsity status if I can't even workout?
Biggest fear, right there. Watching my friends surpass me (as if they haven't already) while I sit on the sidelines, icing my broken shins.
On the bright side, track workouts are still awesome. Best part of my day, by far. [random thought interjection--I wonder if people from outside the US read these blogs so they can learn English better...?] My dual part on the Jump Squad is going well. Hopefully I'll be setting some PRs soon :)
I know that before I realize it, the season will be over. Just like that, my junior year, gone. And there will be only one year remaining. But before then, I've gotta set some records!
I can already see the banquet now...
~Dr. Z
My shin splints continue to keep a grip on my legs. True, they are getting better (slowly), but the healing process can never be fast enough for me. There was also a knot that developed in my right calf, which I went to CJ's to get rubbed out. Certain people *AHEM* think I'm so funny during this process that I should be recorded :) Full speed continually evades me. I am never in shape. I am never able to do the entire workout. I am never completely healthy. Icing, rubbing, stretching, even physical therapy, for goodness sake, and my shins continue to ache. How can I maintain my varsity status if I can't even workout?
Biggest fear, right there. Watching my friends surpass me (as if they haven't already) while I sit on the sidelines, icing my broken shins.
On the bright side, track workouts are still awesome. Best part of my day, by far. [random thought interjection--I wonder if people from outside the US read these blogs so they can learn English better...?] My dual part on the Jump Squad is going well. Hopefully I'll be setting some PRs soon :)
I know that before I realize it, the season will be over. Just like that, my junior year, gone. And there will be only one year remaining. But before then, I've gotta set some records!
I can already see the banquet now...
~Dr. Z
Sunday, March 3, 2013
So, this is....weird. I've never had a blog before or written anything that random people can view and I can't guarantee that if you read this you will find it interesting but here it goes......
Track season. The glorious time of year where you practice everyday after school, wake up sore, and put pressure on yourself to be the best. I have been doing this for three years now and I still worry, I still feel sick, I still complain and yet I'm the veteran that should absolutely love running till my heart bursts and my head pops. So if people have expectations for me and I have expectations for myself why is it that I'm not were I imagined I would be? Junior year, three year Varsity sprinter invited to multiple invitationals and CIF twice, the winner of several awards and yet I'm not standing in the spot I would like to see myself in.
I have struggled with trying to make my life perfect and track is one of the larger puzzle pieces. I set all of these expectations for myself, told myself I am going to be the best, smash records, get scholarships. But how can I achieve these things when I'm terrified of every race? What am I terrified of though? I don't fear running out of my lane, I don't fear falling but what I do fear is time. It's not the fear of getting last, not the horror of someone passing you but the horror of not improving, not getter stronger, or better, or faster. That is what I fear.
Perhaps it's all in my head, it is possible that I'm just tired of running but I can't think like that because the season is here. Again, time is making me cower in a corner. I used to lie in bed Wednesday night before a meet and imagine what my races would look like but now I think that actually held me back. I found a quote awhile ago that I will remember forever it goes, "What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be". This quote has made me think of not just track differently but the way I live my life as well.
I most often run the 400m dash which is really not a dash at all, one lap around the track. I hate this race. I would love to run the 100m or participate in the 200m race more but when it comes to the 400m I despise it. It never hit me why I hate that race but at this very moment I realized why. I hate it because I can think during the race. It refers back to the quote up above, about having a picture in your mind of how something is supposed to be and that's what I'm doing as I'm running around the track.
Holy smokes I wrote a lot. Well I enjoy writing (or in this case typing) so that's why and writing this made me feel better not only about myself but in the way I live my life. I hope that if you had the strength to read all of this you compared it to something in your life whether it's relationships, school, or the future. Humans strive for perfection and it's a topic I bring up often and the bottom line is that nothing is going to turn out exactly how you imagine it so don't do it in the first place.
~Jack
Track season. The glorious time of year where you practice everyday after school, wake up sore, and put pressure on yourself to be the best. I have been doing this for three years now and I still worry, I still feel sick, I still complain and yet I'm the veteran that should absolutely love running till my heart bursts and my head pops. So if people have expectations for me and I have expectations for myself why is it that I'm not were I imagined I would be? Junior year, three year Varsity sprinter invited to multiple invitationals and CIF twice, the winner of several awards and yet I'm not standing in the spot I would like to see myself in.
I have struggled with trying to make my life perfect and track is one of the larger puzzle pieces. I set all of these expectations for myself, told myself I am going to be the best, smash records, get scholarships. But how can I achieve these things when I'm terrified of every race? What am I terrified of though? I don't fear running out of my lane, I don't fear falling but what I do fear is time. It's not the fear of getting last, not the horror of someone passing you but the horror of not improving, not getter stronger, or better, or faster. That is what I fear.
Perhaps it's all in my head, it is possible that I'm just tired of running but I can't think like that because the season is here. Again, time is making me cower in a corner. I used to lie in bed Wednesday night before a meet and imagine what my races would look like but now I think that actually held me back. I found a quote awhile ago that I will remember forever it goes, "What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be". This quote has made me think of not just track differently but the way I live my life as well.
I most often run the 400m dash which is really not a dash at all, one lap around the track. I hate this race. I would love to run the 100m or participate in the 200m race more but when it comes to the 400m I despise it. It never hit me why I hate that race but at this very moment I realized why. I hate it because I can think during the race. It refers back to the quote up above, about having a picture in your mind of how something is supposed to be and that's what I'm doing as I'm running around the track.
Holy smokes I wrote a lot. Well I enjoy writing (or in this case typing) so that's why and writing this made me feel better not only about myself but in the way I live my life. I hope that if you had the strength to read all of this you compared it to something in your life whether it's relationships, school, or the future. Humans strive for perfection and it's a topic I bring up often and the bottom line is that nothing is going to turn out exactly how you imagine it so don't do it in the first place.
~Jack
Thursday, February 28, 2013
First Real Week of Track
DISCLAIMER Well, this might be a bit premature since it's only Thursday, so we have one more day before the first week is completely over, but whatever.
This week has been pretty awesome. Coach has been able to have us work on our relay handoffs twice already, and we worked on them a ton last week, so when we actually start running the 4X100 in competitions, we'll be able to kick some major butt!!! I think the first time that we will actually run is next weekend, there's some invitational that's happening, and it'll be good for us to have a trial run before we have a dual meet.
I also like having practice after school. For one, it means that we don't have to wake up early. Last week, we had practice at 9, which isn't bad, but I really wanted to sleep more over my break. Also, it means that Coach has to limit how long practice is going to be. We can't be at practice all day, he has to manage to fit all of our workout in under two hours. Which, I will admit, is hard with so many kids that we have on the Sprints Team. Like today was the longest that we've stayed late so far, we went from 3:30 to almost 5:30, and we were only doing speed work, not the conditioning stuff. And tomorrow will be weights, which means that it'll take forever.
The one bad thing about it is that we get home late, so there's less time to do homework. But there's not really any way around that, I would still be missing out on over two hours a day when I could be doing homework. And I never really started my homework before 6 anyways, I just liked that I was able to relax and unwind from a day at school before I had to do any work. Now, I have to jump right into it.
But of course, by starting practices, it means that soon we'll be having meets. And the Three Musketeers will be able to kick some major butt again!!! And this year, there's no way that the Titan girls won't be both League and CIF champions. *fingers crossed*
-Pippi
This week has been pretty awesome. Coach has been able to have us work on our relay handoffs twice already, and we worked on them a ton last week, so when we actually start running the 4X100 in competitions, we'll be able to kick some major butt!!! I think the first time that we will actually run is next weekend, there's some invitational that's happening, and it'll be good for us to have a trial run before we have a dual meet.
I also like having practice after school. For one, it means that we don't have to wake up early. Last week, we had practice at 9, which isn't bad, but I really wanted to sleep more over my break. Also, it means that Coach has to limit how long practice is going to be. We can't be at practice all day, he has to manage to fit all of our workout in under two hours. Which, I will admit, is hard with so many kids that we have on the Sprints Team. Like today was the longest that we've stayed late so far, we went from 3:30 to almost 5:30, and we were only doing speed work, not the conditioning stuff. And tomorrow will be weights, which means that it'll take forever.
The one bad thing about it is that we get home late, so there's less time to do homework. But there's not really any way around that, I would still be missing out on over two hours a day when I could be doing homework. And I never really started my homework before 6 anyways, I just liked that I was able to relax and unwind from a day at school before I had to do any work. Now, I have to jump right into it.
But of course, by starting practices, it means that soon we'll be having meets. And the Three Musketeers will be able to kick some major butt again!!! And this year, there's no way that the Titan girls won't be both League and CIF champions. *fingers crossed*
-Pippi
Saturday, February 16, 2013
New Spikes!
Yay! I finally got my new track spikes. Although technically I didn't need new ones because I got my old ones at the beginning of last year, so they have a lot of life left in them, I never miss out on a chance to get new awesome shoes! Yeah, I'm a total girl, I know. Anyways, Coach told me that I needed shoes with a more rigid spike plate, so I went and found some. And these are definitely more rigid. I can't bend the bottom at all, no matter how much I try.
The funniest thing about the shoes: there's a sticker on the bottom that reads "The chrome finish will flake off with use over time". I'm not quite sure why I think this is so funny, but when I read it, I started cracking up. Hopefully the finish won't flake off too much; I don't know what kind of color is on the bottom.
These spikes are actually really good shoes. They're Showdowns so they're good quality. The arch is really rigid and pushes up against my foot which feels really good especially because none of my other shoes do that. The colors are also awesome colors. They're black fading to grey with blue accents, which looks more professional than my white and green ones from last year, and the white and pink from freshman year. Maybe just having epic looking shoes will help me run faster this year......
-Pippi
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Preseason
Preseason.
It's quite an intimidating idea. The fact that you have to work overtime just to keep up with your competitors. All year, 'round the clock--track season never really starts nor ends. Not to mention the fact that preseason (or off-season, considering it goes all year) partially takes place during the coldest part of the year. Oh so pleasant, yes?
I myself have not been to much of the off-season training. Who would go to track practice in the summer heat when there's a beach to be visited? Or force yourself out into the frozen air during the winter when there's homework to be done? That, right there, is the number one problem of preseason: motivation. I've struggled with it countless times.
But then, I think of that first day of practice. When all the cute little Freshies are puking up their breakfast, while us varsity athletes, conditioned in the off-season, stand tall and stride long. That right there is enough to keep me going. That, and the thought of seeing my name on the top ten list for an event in our league.
Speaking of the first day of practice... Season starts in exactly 10 days. And yes.
It is going to "get nasty" on the track this year.
It's quite an intimidating idea. The fact that you have to work overtime just to keep up with your competitors. All year, 'round the clock--track season never really starts nor ends. Not to mention the fact that preseason (or off-season, considering it goes all year) partially takes place during the coldest part of the year. Oh so pleasant, yes?
I myself have not been to much of the off-season training. Who would go to track practice in the summer heat when there's a beach to be visited? Or force yourself out into the frozen air during the winter when there's homework to be done? That, right there, is the number one problem of preseason: motivation. I've struggled with it countless times.
But then, I think of that first day of practice. When all the cute little Freshies are puking up their breakfast, while us varsity athletes, conditioned in the off-season, stand tall and stride long. That right there is enough to keep me going. That, and the thought of seeing my name on the top ten list for an event in our league.
Speaking of the first day of practice... Season starts in exactly 10 days. And yes.
It is going to "get nasty" on the track this year.
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